Dangerous Secrets

I knew I hid some part of myself

Deep in the darkest dungeon of my soul

Sometimes I examine the key

And try to recall what I locked up down there

A monster? A demon?

Or something pathetic and shameful?

A hideous deformity?

My curiosity eventually gets the best of me

I have to go see

I open the door slowly, nervously

There's a little girl in there

Bright-eyed, chubby-cheeked, smiling

I recognize her immediately

For she is me- the little girl I used to be

Many, many years ago

She is so naïve as to believe

That she is here to love everyone

And everyone will be happy to receive

Her attention and affection

Her invitation to play only children's games

Wherein everyone wins and nobody loses

And everyone laughs but no one is laughed at

Everyone is in on the joke

Everyone is in on the fun

Come on, come on!

She beckons with her hands and her radiant face

Oh no! I slam the door

Trembling with more fear than if I'd seen a demon

For that little girl once got me in more trouble than a monster

She evoked such derision, such scorn

Walked like a lamb to the slaughter

Into the hands of predators and vultures

She is better off hidden away where no one can hurt her

I'm better off carving gargoyles for the front of my house

And losing this key

Anna J. Michener

April 14^th, 2011